For people who know me, it will probably come as no big surprise that I’m fussy. I like things to be done in a certain way, I’m particular about how I work and I’m really really fussy about my home and possessions.
I personally don’t think that there’s anything wrong with being slightly pedantic and taking pride in your home, but it does mean that I stress – a lot.
Builders, tradespeople, delivery companies and even friends & family (even Jan sometimes!) – having anyone in your home when you’re particular about how you like things to be can be difficult.
For me, this is partly down to some bad experiences – the window company that dropped a window down our stairs, our recent messy plasterer that completely covered everywhere with bits of plaster and general tradespeople who are just inconsiderate and not as careful as I’d like them to be.
Last week we had part of our home photographed for a magazine (I’ll be sharing more details as soon as I’m allowed to!) and a few days later we had a film crew in our home who were using our house as a location for part of their short film (I’ll hopefully be able to share a few behind the scenes details of that very soon)!
Needless to say, having 8 complete strangers in our home was an interesting experience and although both the magazine photographer & stylist as well as the film crew were respectful, it did make me stress and I couldn’t help wondering why I’d even considered letting a bunch of random people into my home.
All of this got me thinking about how fussy I am and about how dealing with people in your home can be a stressful experience. I guess I live in my own little bubble of carefulness and most people just don’t live up to my expectations. I know that sounds really harsh and people can do what they want in their own homes, but in my home I like things done in a certain way – and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that!
For some reason actually implementing your rules when people are in your home is easier said than done and it can be hard to tell people not to do stuff. When I’m at someone else’s home I’m always happy to respect any rules they may have and totally understand if they like things to be done in a certain way, but weirdly telling people not to do things in my own home is difficult and I’ve not yet quite figured out a way to feel comfortable telling people what to not to do.
I don’t usually allow anyone wearing jeans (with evil little studs that could damage the leather) to sit on our Eames lounge chair. Super fussy? Probably. I just really don’t care. It’s my house, my rules.
And while I’m at it, here are a few more rules:
No placing items on the Eames lounge chair.
No placing items on the white glossy sideboard in the dining room.
No shoes (preferably) in the house.
No shoes (definitely) on stairs and first floor.
No heals anywhere (they leave evil round dents in wood floor)
No jeans on the velvet Chesterfield sofa (they tend to rub off and leave a blue shadow after time – we have a blanket on it when wearing jeans).
No touching walls.
No placing cups of tea (or anything else that’s hot) on surfaces without coasters.
No peeing stood up (preferable, but something I don’t really check on!)
No slamming doors (especially the front door with stained glass).
No drinking or eating on the Eames or Chesterfield.
No leaning ladders, tools etc. against furniture (especially when I’ve asked you not to!).
Having builders in the house stresses me most of all (which is probably part of the reason we like to carry out home improvements ourselves). Whenever I hear a bang or the sound of something that could even in the slightest mean that something is getting damaged I jump and I’m the most unrelaxed person ever.
I’m not good at dealing with people in my home, but there are a few things that I try to do to calm myself.
I only let builders in who I totally trust (although even then it doesn’t always go to plan), I like to schedule work so that I’m around to answer any questions and keep an eye on things when we have building work going on and I equally try to let people get on with their work and not watch every minute.
My fussiness is also part of the reason I like to buy second-hand furniture. It’s already got that first mark, dent or scratch and I know what I’m getting. It’s always the first mark that’s the worst!
Overall I still don’t think I’m too fussy and I really don’t think that there’s anything wrong with being protective of your possessions.
I’d love to know if you also stress when you have builders and tradespeople in your house? Do you have a way of dealing with builders and tradespeople? More importantly, do have a way of not stressing when you have people in your home? Any tips are more than welcome!
I know your pain. I came home last night to find the plumbers had left a blow torch and electric drill on the floor in reach of my children. I understand why you like to do work yourself.
Wow, that’s bad. It’s one thing when people in your home stress you, but it’s so bad when they could affect the safety of your children!
Cx
Oh Christine! I totally understand, I am always trying to tell myself to calm down when people are here working on things and traipsing around the place. To a certain extent I don’t have to worry too much because the only room we’ve done anything to is the office and the rest it really doesn’t matter if it gets battered but for me it’s just a common courtesy to be careful in other people’s homes. I don’t have problems with things like coasters and am quite laidback with wanting people to feel relaxed and comfortable BUT I do have an issue with shoes. WHY would anyone even want to wear shoes indoors? Once we get our wooden floors in then all shoes will be left by the frontdoor. I’m happy to provide slippers for people that’s fine but I just don’t get it – wearing shoes is uncomfortable for starters plus who wants to walk the outside (dog poo residue, rubbish etc etc) into their homes?! No tips I’m afraid apart from taking myself into the garden for a cuppa. The worst was definitely fitting the lining of the log burner, it sounded like the house was going to split in two! X
I’m so glad to hear that it’s not just me! I didn’t worry much when our house was still in a complete state of disrepair, but now that a few of the rooms are getting close to being finished I’m definitely starting to worry more. I can’t help wondering if I’m overprotective because we’ve done so much of the work ourselves and know how much time and effort it took to get the house looking the way it does now.
We only have very few pieces of furniture that we’re precious about and overall Your chimney liner experience had to make me laugh – our was exactly the same and the insert kept banging against the bedroom window – all I could keep thinking was that I was glad we hadn’t got round to having that window replaced yet.
Cx
We gave our very kind neighbours access for their chimney liner guy to come onto our scaffold and the team broke the tiles around the french door on our brand new dormer (at least that’s our builder’s story). We’re just about to have our own liner installed and I’m dreading it. I’d better book it in before the super expensive passive house grade french doors are installed.
Oh, that’s annoying Tania! Having the liner fitted for our wood burner was definitely a stressful experience! I was so glad that we hadn’t had the window in the back bedroom replaced as the liner kept banging against it. I honestly thought that they were going to smash through it!
Cx
I’m weirdly protective of my childrens’ toys. I have very intelligent, thoughtful children and they are capable of manipulating rather tricky toys. I’ve had play dates here where the kids just smash and bash and I’m left going “what the hell, parents? Many a broken toy has been cried over by my two. And frustratingly, not one parent has offered to pay for a replacement or to have it fixed. Now, I’m forced to hide every cool toy we own when kids come over. So much easier to meet in the park.
Feels good to vent. Thanks :)
I can totally understand that, Julianne! I get that toys can break, but I’d always assumed that the parents would offer to buy a new one (especially if it’s something that’s been bashed around). I guess different people just have different ideas of what’s acceptable and what isn’t. Good idea to hide the better toys!
Cx
HAHAHA! This post made me laugh out loud, because having people, especially builders or tradesmen, in my house is for me the most stressful thing ever! I am very shy as well, so I find it extremely difficult to tell them to be careful, let alone tell them when I’m not happy with their work. I just try to push myself and be more assertive, it always pays off. Fortunately I’m not very fussy like you ;-) However, we do have some rules, like the no-shoes-inside policy, and actually another one is that we don’t want young children in our house. It stresses me out they’re always grabbing and touching things! I sometimes feel like an autistic person, but I can’t help it.
Love your blog, it’s such an inspiration! :-)
Glad to hear you enjoyed the post, Maaike! I can totally understand that it can be difficult to deal with tradespeople. Isn’t it weird how we can be shy about things that happen in our own homes?!
I really don’t understand why anyone would wear shoes in the house and it’s good to hear that we’re not the only ones that feel that way. I understand what you mean about young children, too. It’s something that I can’t quite avoid though (we have 7 nieces and nephews).
Thanks for the kind comment!
Cx
oh I know your pain. I hate having messy people at home, builders, delivery men, even my own kids drive me crazy when they leave mess and destroy things…
I’m so relieved to hear that it’s not just us that struggle! Make me feel (almost) normal… :)
Cx
Hi! I’m in the process of finishing one renovation and starting another, so I’ve been looking for blogs specifically written by women about works in progress, which I find more helpful than looking a pretty pictures, as inspiring as those are. Anyway, when I saw this post I just had to share a project I just finished.
I’m a filmmaker and recently made a short documentary about an art project called “People Who Came To My House.” Over the course of a year, community photographers photographed people who came to their house. The best of the photographs were printed and exhibited, then we interviewed most of the photographers and many of the subjects. The result was a really interesting conversation about the kinds of relationships we all have with people in our community that walk this strange line between professional and personal. If you are interested in checking it out, the exhibit is still up in Syracuse, NY, right now until May 21 and the documentary can be seen online.
Project link: http://artragegallery.org/people-who-came-to-my-house-portraits-by-syracuse-area-photographers
Documentary Trailer (2.5 min):
Full Length (27 min.) Documentary: https://vimeo.com/163327779
Thanks for writing your post and for letting me share this. It’s been a fascinating project!
Best Regards,
Courtney
Hi, I’ve just discovered this blog and I’m loving it!
I’m a Virgo and I TOTALLY understand what you are saying! My youngest of three sons has recently left home to go to university and I’m so happy to have the place to myself and not have to keep yelling, “COASTER”! every five minutes. Even my dogs know to walk around that lovely rug and not over it…or, god forbid, LIE on it!
Keep up the good work, I’m learning lots of tips from you, too, so am a happy girl!
Ohh, thank you so much, Anni! So glad you found your way over to us!
We’ve only just finished sanding all of the floors in our new home and the one thing that really drives me mad is when people don’t take their shoes off! I’m still working on trying to be more relaxed but I do love hearing that I’m not the only one who struggles.
Cx